Sex

Why Wait?  •  What about Oral Sex?  •  Secondary Virginity  •  Pornography

What is sex? Typically most people assume that only penetration of the vagina is considered "sex." However, the fact is, any genital contact falls under the category of sex and carries the risk of exposure to a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Thus, to “have sex" is really a much broader definition than complete sexual intercourse.

Sex, however, is much more than two bodies colliding. More than just for “making babies” or pleasure, sex is designed to unite two human beings as one, and to create a bond between them that will last a lifetime. Simply put—sex takes two and makes them one. Once a couple is joined in this way, they are bonded together so intimately and strongly that to separate them causes tearing and trauma. Many who have had a sexual relationship with someone they are no longer with, know the pain of this separation. As much as our culture tries to make sex an “everyday” and "casual" experience, the reality is that sex is a powerful, uniting force that always takes a piece of the couple with it when they "break up." They really do "break up"—emotionally, physically, spiritually.

The gift of sex doesn't simply contain great pleasure—though it does certainly contain that! It comes with great responsibility and potentially harmful consequences as well. Sex can be better understood when compared to another powerful gift to humanity: fire. The gift of fire is a wonderful thing. But it can also be incredibly dangerous. Within the boundaries of its intended setting, it brings many blessings to those present—light to illuminate the darkness and warmth to heat the air, for example.

But what happens when fire escapes its boundaries? If you take the fire that brings so many comforts while in the fireplace, and move it to the center of the living room, your house will burn down and you will lose everything, perhaps even your life.

Just as fire should be used with certain boundaries, so sex was made for marriage, and is only "safe" when practiced by a committed, faithful, married couple. Sex brings blessings of pleasure, children, and complete unity to those who experience it in marriage! Sex is truly one of God's greatest and most amazing gifts!

Today Decides Tomorrow

The choices you make today will literally decide what the future looks like for you—today’s relationship can ruin tomorrow’s marriage. This is one reason why it is so important that you save sex for the one special person you will choose to spend the rest of your life with. Without the protection of the marriage relationship, sex is destructive. Even if you have made mistakes in the past, we want to help you make the best and most positive choices possible now, ones that will ensure you a healthier and happier future.

Fact #1... More Sex = More Risk

Here's why this matters so much. Every time you have sex, you put yourself at risk. And the risks are actually huge. For starters, you could get pregnant, an event that will affect the rest of your life. You also have a high chance of catching a sexually transmitted disease (STD), another event that will radically affect your future. Please go here for more information on STDs.

Fact #2... If you're not ready to be pregnant, you're not ready for sex.

Neither condoms nor birth control pills or other forms of contraceptives are 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. So, the more times you have sex the greater the risk you run of getting pregnant (or getting someone else pregnant). Suddenly, you're a parent, and your life is changed forever.

Fact #3... Sexually transmitted diseases are a real threat               every time you have sex, even if you use a condom.

Condoms reduce, but do not eliminate, the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HIV and gonorrhea. They're even less effective at preventing genital herpes, chlamydia, and syphilis. What's more, they offer absolutely no protection against HPV—one of the most common STDs in the U.S. and the cause of almost all cervical cancer. So even if you use a condom correctly every time, you're still placing yourself at risk.

“When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years.”
--C. Everett Koop, M.D. (Former U.S. Surgeon General)

Fact #4... Hearts do break!

But there are other good reasons to save sex for marriage other than just the physical risks involved. These have to do with your feelings and memories, and with your heart and mind. Sex is a powerful act that creates a strong and intimate bond between two people that was never intended to be broken. So when sex is separated from commitment and faithfulness, serious damage results. The intimate bond of unity created by sex is so strong that to break it does break hearts.

Fact #5... So many say, “I wish I had waited.”

One of the greatest lies circulating today goes something like this, "Since I've already had sex, it doesn't matter what I do anymore." Nothing could be further from the truth. The more sex you have the greater risk you run of catching an STD or getting pregnant, and the more times your heart will bonded to another—shattering and scarring you when that bond is broken yet again. Every time you have sex—regardless of whether it's your first time or not—you are placing yourself in a dangerous situation that could change your life forever. That is why one study reported that over half of all teens that had sex at least once, reported that they wish they had waited.