Talking to Parents

Don't Panic: How to Tell Your Parents You're Pregnant
It's not easy to go to your parents with the news that you are pregnant. It is normal to feel afraid and to expect the worst. While the news of your unplanned pregnancy could very well hurt your parents (it often does), they will survive (they always do). Most parents dearly love their children and want to be there for them when they are hurting or scared.

Every family is different: if your parents have a hard time expressing their love, you may need to turn to other family members or friends for emotional support. However, it could be that your crisis pregnancy will be an event that draws your family closer together.

Don't Put It Off!
Unless your parents are capable of physical abuse, it's best to tell them as soon as possible that you are pregnant. More than likely, they are going to find out--and they might even have an inkling now--and they would rather hear the news from you than from someone else.

Plan Your Approach
You know your parents and how they deal with problems. You may want to wait until they are relaxed and easiest to talk to. Maybe it would be best if you were not physically present when they receive the news. It can be better to tell them with a friend there to help you. It is difficult to think when you are nervous, but you need to consider how best to approach them.

What If They Want Me to Have an Abortion?
Your parents are probably also in shock from this news, and may want to help you “get it taken care of” quickly. You need to come up with a responsible plan of action—there are many different positive options for you. Have your parents look around this website, so they can read about your different choices. They need to see that you have seriously thought through everything. If you need help working through your options, please come in and talk with one of our counselors.

How Should I Tell Them?
It is almost always best to talk face-to-face. There is just no substitute for sitting down and discussing something together. However, if the thought of telling your parents in person frightens you too much, consider these other alternatives:

• You could write them a card or a letter, and hand it to them personally, mail it, or leave it in their room. Once they have read it and had a little time to process the news, sit down and have a talk together.

  • • You could send them an e-mail
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  • • You could call them on the telephone. It might be easiest for you to communicate this way. In a phone conversation, it’s probably best to talk to one parent at a time.

What Should I Say?
You want to communicate your love along with your sorrow for the pain you may have caused them. You might say something simple and straightforward like this:

“Mom, I love you, but I'm afraid I've really blown it. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm pregnant.”

You not only have yourself to think of now, but also your parents and the little life growing inside you. It's time to be strong, act wisely, and do the right thing.

There Is Help Available
Stop in The Center today for a free pregnancy test and caring, confidential counseling. We can help you work through your options and learn answers to your questions. We’d be happy to speak with your parents too, if they have concerns and questions about how to help you. Click here for more about the services we offer.